Sorry
by sassyassmutha
Summary: She sat there in complete peace as the joyous chaos engulfed her. She was so strange for a child, but he realized how much he thanked her for that. Even if he could not believe her words. Fushimi/Anna Bonding Fic.


The last time I saw her she had just turned eight. She was surrounded, everyone yelling happily about how fast she was growing up, Totsuka merrily parading around her with his camera. The booming voices were most likely audible from the streets, not like the men cared. The frail child sat leaning forward, legs and arms uncrossed and observing the ruffians amongst her. As usual, Anna spoke no words, hands in her lap and a blank expression on her face. I too was in my usual spot in my usual position, resting alone in the back of the bar on a stool as HOMRA enjoyed themselves. I grimaced at the overly decorated rouge cake and the various fire like streamers that adorned the bar. I glanced to the steps that led to the second floor, my mood falling farther into the abyss. The King had yet to grace his beloved Anna with his presence on her special day. I clicked my tongue in annoyance, the adoration she had for Mikoto Suoh was almost as sickening as Misaki's.

I halted my thoughts at once, taking a shot of whiskey that I had laid out on the counter. Those thoughts always led me down depressing roads and often sleepless nights, but suppressing them was close to impossible at times. I tossed my head back, letting the alcohol burn my throat as it traveled down. It was painful, but some part of me enjoyed it immensely. I was no alcoholic, and I was not idiotic enough to become one because of petty emotions such as jealousy and hatred towards the great Red King.

Looking back to the celebration, I could see Misaki arguing with Totsuka for not watching his footing, the other members looking on with amusement as Misaki tended to his foot whilst muttering obscenities. I restrained an eye roll of aggravation from being expressed across my features, turning my head to the clan's little princess. She was dressed in her usual attire, an old fashioned red dress, white stockings, and a frilly top hat perched against her pearly hair. Her eyes shone brightly as they looked upon the commotion. Even though to many she might have appeared uninterested and distant, through those eyes I could tell how much she loved being around the idiots in front of her. She loved HOMRA more than any of the buffoons, her pride was branded in her heart and soul. Her scarlet eyes laughed as she frowned, her fingers curling in the ruffles of her dress to mask the emotions seeping through. My face softened, it only ever did for her those days.

I had never been fond of children, not in my entire life. They all appeared to me as snot nosed little shits who didn't know how to do anything by themselves. They were always surrounded by loving parents, being scolded or admired. It made me want to vomit profusely. However, Anna was in another league entirely. How did a little girl get involved with, much less become an important part of, a group of total barbarians? No matter how many theories or formulas I came up with, it was just a problem I couldn't solve or make sense of. I doubt it ever would, even if I returned to the drawing board a hundred times over. The innocence that radiated from her was blazing, intense. She was petite and fragile, but she never asked to be doted on or babied. People just naturally did on instinct, even me. It was a mysterious phenomenon, and it was inescapable. In some cases, that little girl had more power than the King, she influenced his life everyday after all. One thing that bothered me over everything else though, was why she was fond of me. She had all these other simpletons, men who were more than cheerful to be in HOMRA, who were overjoyed to serve Mikoto-san. Anna should have had a strong disdain for me, but it was just the opposite. I wouldn't go as far as to say she loved me like she did Totsuka-san or Izumo, but I felt something in those eyes when she spoke to me. One night in particular had struck a few chords with me, and much to my exasperation, it was probably the reason I was capable of feeling at least something in the years that followed my departure from the clan.

A couple of our clansmen had gotten into a brawl with some street punks a few months earlier. I had been left to watch Anna while everyone went to calm things down. I was indifferent at first, but once they were gone, the atmosphere completely changed. Every time I would glance over, she would be staring at me. Her eyes were scolding my skin, and what was worse was that she wasn't even fazed by the awkward situation she had created. I began to pace the length of the pub, the wooden floors voicing the strain my harsh footsteps were putting on them. I stopped every once in a while to start focusing on Totsuka's various past obsessions that littered the area. I had been examining a traditional style painting when I heard a soft sigh from the couch. Glancing over, I realized my mistake when it was too late. My breath caught, Anna was completely fixed on me. I was trapped in the gaze, unable to turn away as the fire engulfed me. I crossed one arm over the other, if only to cool myself down. The room was silent aside from the light patter of rain on the pavement outside and the sounds of my careful steps against the polished wood. I sat down gradually on the couch across from her after making my way over, still locked in her boring stare. My arms were crossed tightly to my chest, a huff escaping my lips. I glanced down, her hands were busy flattening the wrinkles of her dress. I was frustrated to say the least, why was she nervous all of a sudden?

"Hey, don't get all hesitant on me princess. You're the one who was calling me over here," my taut voice said, breaking through the noiseless barrier between us. The younger jumped significantly for her character, slumping her shoulders and curling up slightly. Was she surprised that I had noticed? That was the most taken aback I had ever seen her.

She didn't reply, but that wasn't really a shocking new development. I sighed, trying to shake off my discontent and letting the silence consume us once again. It stayed like this, the rain echoing from outside, for another twenty minutes. I didn't have anything to offer up for conversation, but in the end I didn't have to. She was the one to extinguish the tension that time.

"Saruhiko?" The silvery voice sent an unwelcome chill to course through me. I ignored it as best I could, but I was distressed by hearing her utter my given name. When my response forced itself up, I did my best not to stutter on the first word.

"What?" I asked, my voice bordering on wobbly. She cocked her head to the side, bright strands falling in front of her face.

"Why do you always look like someone in pain? You shouldn't," she said, a pout appearing on her face.

My eyes grew, my throat was feeling incredibly dry as well at that moment. Her eyes held pure curiosity. That…that brat had more nerve than I thought. She didn't understand, didn't even have the consideration to try to understand. My eyes clouded over darkly, a sneer manifesting as I held back a snarl. Still, she kept my gaze, unafraid of my answer. My throat itched, I didn't even know how to answer, she was just an ignorant kid after all. She had no clue what my feelings were towards her disgusting clan and her even more _revolting_ pride in it. That place was my own personal hell, it robbed me of peace of mind, of my special person, _everything._ She would dare think that I shouldn't have been depressed, that I shouldn't have been so _angry_ with everything, just because of her King. _Because of Mikoto-san. _

"And just why is that Anna? Tell me why, I really want to know why!" My voice echoed through the pub, strangled and tight. What made me feel terrible though, what made me feel like complete _shit_, was that I wanted desperately to know. I wanted to know what she _saw_, what she always saw when she looked at me. I wanted _someone_ to see me.

The silence set in again as thunder started to rumble outside. Anna's shoulders relaxed, her hands untangling themselves from the layers of her dress. Her lips lifted slowly, a serene smile upon them as she spoke softly.

"Because your red is beautiful."

**AN: So, I have this headcanon that Fushimi actually had a soft spot for Anna, and I just had to write on it. I also feel like somewhere inside him, he would be sorry for disappointing her. Reviews are welcome ^^ **


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